The ever-delicious adventures of Sammy G

Sammy - Happy Glorious Birthday!! I am sorry my post is so delinquent but at least it's here before your 41st.! I am a techno-tard who, alas, is married to someone only marginally less compu-challenged.

So .... 40!! Is it time to start acting like an adult? I say Nyet! If 60 is the new 30 .... 40 is the new 10. Go get yourself a Razor scooter and begin collecting Pokemon cards!

I have now known you for 17 years ... or 42.5% of "this" Earth life ... depending on what you believe. It seems like only yesterday ...

We were newly minted college girls ... in the process of being disabused of those crazy "the world is your pearl" notions as we were forced to trade leisurely afternoons reading Chaucer for plebeian life as "office veal," being tenderized under the fluorescent bulbs in our nubby, grey cubes.

You were the dash of Technicolor in my black & white corporate world. I still remember you sauntering up to me on the Cabot work shuttle and announcing, in your conspiratorial, Sassy Sam voice, that you knew how to get the cheapest PanAm flights to New York.

That moment is quinessential Sam -- A bold approach to the stranger, a glint of mischief, and the promise of adventure. I don't even recall what prompted you to offer up that little goodie ... We just seemed to be instant friends from that moment.

Thus began the "summer of Sam" ... in a good way ;) ... Two educated gals figured out how to game the corporate system by doing the least amount of possible work, insinuating ourselves into every interesting conversation, using our cunning and derring-do to maximize meal and taxi vouchers, free schmooze-fest wine/beer and ... of course ...to get our daily quota of blueberry tasty snacks. We psycho analyzed every colleague, got the down-lo on all sorts of inter-office hi-jinks and became roving sociologists. What began as drudgery became ... with the addition of the essential ingredient of Sam - a series of fond and funny memories.

Together we explored Boston & you shared new neighborhoods, tastes and experiences. You introduced me to new authors and literary adventures I would never have found on my own.
You pushed my boundaries and vastly expanded my comfort zone.

I'll never forget the crazy weekend you, Cynthia and I had in Provincetown when we met that bizarre man (with the ill boyfriend) who insisted on taking us all over town to every crazy bar there was. I remember him offering to pay a bouncer $100 for each of the 3 of us to take us upstairs to some leather bar, when we wisely decided -- "if you have to pay the bouncer that much - maybe we'd rather not see what's in there!" He told us he could read our futures ... and pronounced Cynthia an artist and me a "soccer mom" - I was horribly insulted. I wish now that I could remember what he pronounced you, because I am wondering if he was clairvoyant!!

You first introduced me to California ... I'll never forget that first trip with Synthia and you ... buying my first 2 piece bathing suit since 2nd grade, eating Mount Rainier cherries, and roasting marshmellos on Balboa Island -- I have incredible sense memories of that fantastic trip!

I have never had a dull moment or unforgettable day with you Sam -- whether it was leaf-peeping in North Hampton, climbing a mountain in Sedona or finding the best cheeseburger in Manhattan & then sipping Egyptian cocktails in a bar with a grass floor ... When I think of you - I can only describe you as someone who completely savors life in all its sensory glory.

With you, life is a kaleidoscope of dreamy possibility - whether its savoring words on a page, musical notes in your ear, beautiful colors and/or delightful tastes -- as Austin Powers might say ... "You're totally switched on Babe"

Your gift is your ability to take that zest for savoring life and bestowing that on all those who surround you. Not only do you savor -- you ignite savoring in others. That is an incredible gift that I feel so very fortunate to have enjoyed.

If I could have a wish for you as you embark on your next 40 years (the 2nd in what I hope are at least 4 or 5 installments) it would be that you realize the profound and wonderful impact that you have on others. I am so happy you found someone as wonderful as David who so obviously delights in you and revels in your Sammyness and I actually go all misty when I think about what a wonderful mom you are to Jarrah.

You are a glorious person and an incredible friend. Though a whole nation divides us - you're never far from my thoughts or my heart. I think of you often and look forward to our next adventure together. I hope our whole families can meet sometime very soon.

Happy Happy Birthday Sammy. You're quite simply one of my favorite people on the whole planet & I love you to bits!

XO Sue

Seems Like No Time has Passed at all

Sammy,

Hard to believe that my sister is turning 40. When I think of you, you are frozen somewhere in your teens, sitting in your room, making arts and crafts out of cotton balls and pipe cleaners. I used to wander in your room to ask you every question that came to mind. Not sure why I thought you might have the answers as you were not that old yourself, but somehow, you always came up with something. I will never forget when you explained to me that everyone passes away, but you assuaged my fears at the time and made me realize that that time would be a long way away.

There was a long period where I think that we didn't know each other at all and yet, I decided when I was 18 that I would go and pay you a visit in Northhampton. I had so much fun with you that week and I think we ate in every restaurant in Northhampton. For some reason, my fondest memory is driving down a bumpy road toward an apple orchard, listening to Van Morrison's greatest hits. I was so sad when I left to go home. But the best part was, we became great friends after that week. You would become the person I turned to more than anyone when things were dicey, or confusing, or
happy.

I read back on this and think, boy, this is growing a tad weepy, so I think I will suffice to say that I feel blessed to have a sister such as you. You continually surprise me and amaze me and I have always admired you.

I love you, Samala. Happy birthday!

-Lindsey

"Hey Nineteen"

Dearest Sam,

 

How wonderful of your sweet husband to create this for you.  I only wish I was as eloquent as some others who have contributed and, more importantly, not a technological retard so I could include some old photos.  (One in particular comes to mind of you at Bondos in blessed Northampton with your bi-lateral hairdo.  then came the RED-headed Sam -- the femme fatale.

 

So, Sam, it's been a few years since you made that first tape for me for my 19th birthday, which began with Steely Dan.  Followed by....I dunno maybe Wham, or Chaka Kan or the Smiths or...maybe a song or two from Kimie's Amy Grant collection.  "In a little while we'll be with the father."  (Wait a minute, honey, you're Jewish!)  As you are lying on my bed in the K&G Lounge -- which you OWNED.

 

Time spent with Samantha Goldstein is always UNFORGETTABLE.  (Which reminds me of another tape between the two of us.)  Your hilarious stories (my mother's favorite is at that Thanksgiving when you told some funny tale and Carolyn quietly commented after:  "That was MY story."...."Yeah, I know, but you weren't going to tell it," responds Sam.  Your glorious appreciation for .....good friends, good food, good conversation, but mostly good friends -- which you have so freakin many of because you are so GOOD to us all (I think you know every one of us better than we know ourselves.)  Your biting wit and incredibly insightful observations.

 

I love you, Sam.  Always will.  I'm envious of those who get to spend time with you still.  It was so long ago.  And after so many years gone by (let's see, 22, to be exact, since we first met on the steps of Lamont house, and you said I couldn't possibly be a college student because I looked like Raggedy Ann, and I loved you immediately, while Kimie looked on befuddled by the both of us), it seems incredible that it was just a few years that we really spent together, and most of that time we weren't speaking to one another.  It makes me regret the time I wasted being a psychotic, narcissistic idiot, but, hey, who I was then was part of that strange and wonderful intensity between us.  I never told you this, Sam, but I think I never had a real friend before you.  I think I didn't know how.  You and Synthia (just would feel amiss not bringing her name into this) and my SMITH buddies opened me up (believe it or not) in a way that I had never known before, nor have I ever experienced since.

 

How lucky Jarrah is to have such a HOT mom.  And how lucky you and David are to have eachother, because you're both angels.  (Just would feel amiss at not bringing their names into this too.)

 

So Happy 40th Birthday, old friend.  40 IS the new 30, as it's been said.

 

Grace       

Happy Birthday Sam!

Dear Sam,

I love this idea of having a birthday blog for you!

Paul and I met Sam and David at a support meeting for infertility in 2004. I think it was the spring, but to be honest, I don't know exactly when. That part of our lives is a bit jumbled. We both really enjoyed getting to know them and becoming friends, in spite the reasons that we were there. One day, in the summer of 2004, Sam showed up with some flyers sent from her dad. They were about adopting from China. There was going to be a talk given by a family (from what would become our agency) that had ACTUALLY adopted. We decided to go. We wanted to at least learn more about the process. The talk left Paul and I feeling relieved and we could see that adoption felt right for us. It felt like a light at the end of a long and depressing dark tunnel. And it must have felt that way for Sam and David, too. I have a really clear memory of Paul and Sam smiling and chatting as the meeting ended and saying, "Well, we know what agency we will go with!"

That one outing changed our lives.

A few months later, after more unsuccessful doctor visits, we decided to call CCAI, our agency. We continued to go to the support group and so did Sam and David. All four of us seemed to be more lighthearted at those meetings. We were excited to be moving forward. We started our paperwork and soon after, so did Sam and David. From December 2004 to March 2005, we worked together to finish the overwhelming task. I am sure we would not had been done as quickly, if it were not for Sam and her eagle-editing eyes. It wasn't so scary doing the paperwork with friends. It felt like we could do it. We talked about traveling together early on, I think in December. Our agency was really helpful in this respect and one of their representatives in China went to the agency there to request that we travel together. We toasted together on New Year's Eve to being home by the next, withour little girls.

Well, it took a bit longer and on January 30 of this year, we said our early morning hello's at the airport in San Diego. Sam wasamazing in planning the trip. I don't know what we would have donewithout her. We were in the middle of our condo getting termitetented, parent-teacher conferences at our school and just plainuneducated when it came to traveling and we were both really sick.It was her idea to go early to Hong Kong, an idea I will be forevergrateful for, as it is an amazing city. She came up with all kindsof fun things to do and we had our last big blast before flying tothe mainland five days later.

I know, this has gone on too long, but fast forward again toFebruary 6 of this year (China time). Sam, David, Paul and I aresitting on a bus leaving the metropolis of Chongqing for itscountryside. We have our diaper bags packed. We are in layers andlayers of clothes. We are listening to our guide, Marie tell usabout the city and the babies. I remember is her saying, "Twoscoops of formula and two ounces of hot water, and the rest coolwater. The babies can eat what you eat." I remember sittingacross the aisle from Sam and us nervously talking about what toexpect. I wish I remembered more, I was just too anxious. Withinthe next hour we would be holding our babies, all six of us cryingand overwhelmed with emotion.

Fast forward again to today. Almost nine months later, we arehome, watching these two little girls grow, amazed at how well theyget along. We are sharing stories about food being flung from thehigh chair, shoe sizes changing at an amazing rate, tantrums beingthrown and adorable moments happening in the midst.

I do believe that people come into our lives for a reason. InSam's case, it is for many reasons. I have a wonderful friend,supportive mommy pal, and mother to a girl who will share anamazing story with my daughter.

Being 40 can make one feel like life has been on fast forward. Ican attest to that. Let's just hope we can push the pause buttononce in a while.

We love you, Sam!

Mary, Paul and Joy

Happy Birthday from Maine!

Dear Sam,

Whenever anyone mentions San Diego I think fondly of Eddie's and my honeymoon... and of my friend Sam who was with us! I still remember you showing us all over scenic San Diego. I seem to recall we had so much fun that we came back again the next year. I hope we can do it yet again. I know our girls would love to play with Jarrah. I hope your birthday celebration started long ago and is far from over. We are thinking of you here in Maine. Lots of love--- Patty

A World of Joy to You

I met my homegirl, Sam, on a street corner in Laramie, Wyoming. Not many people can say that (though Teresa can too). We all gathered there for a conference, and, as a citizen of the host country, I was required to ferry people up into the state park that afternoon. Teresa and I drove my little Geo (which I still drive, half a lifetime and a kid later) to the dorm; I leaped out and yelled, “Anyone need a ride?” Sam replied, “We do” and she and her comrade jumped right into our car. I don’t know what made her decide in that sea of Wyoming plates that we were her ride, but I’m so glad she did. What joy Sam has added to my life. I know no one brighter, funnier, or more delightful.

As you can imagine, our carload laughed all the way up to the park, the whole time we were there, and all the way back down the hill. There was no way that I was going to miss out on more of that hilarity, so Sam spent the rest of the week with me and my pals (who had flown in from all over the country). The entire week I was nearly in tears with laughter. It was, for many reasons—Sam being one of them, the most joyful week that I had that whole year. This was the reason that Sam became known around my house as “The Funniest Person in the World.” My ex- I simply called, “The Second Funniest.” Whenever he would crack me up, I would say, “That’s why you’re the second funniest.” If he ever heard me laughing uproariously on the phone, he would walk into the room and ask, “Are you talking to Sam?” I always was. Of course, it takes quite a bit of brains to be that funny. Sam’s got it all. Here she is doing Uncle you know who--a performance that made me laugh for months, and I mean months--on a visit T and I made to San Diego.

One year for Christmas, Sam sent me He’s Got the Whole World In His Pants and other misheard song lyrics. We got on the phone together and read them and I laughed—not just because of the book, but Sam’s interpretive remarks and incisive comments—until I peed my pants. Honestly. At 30 (gee, that was ten years ago!). Now that’s saying something. You know all those students who packed into her classes over the years felt like they’d hit the jackpot. Just like her friends do. Witness the facts people. Even Steven Spielberg adores her; there he is while she blows us all a kiss (see T's post).

For years, Sam and I talked about relationships and their ups and downs and difficulties. We agonized over heartbreaks. I went to visit her the first time not long after her initial visit to Wyoming. We had such a great time; we ate brunch while we looked out on the sea lions; we lounged at the beach; we had meals together under the stars. We talked ‘til we were hoarse about how difficult romance was. And, of course, I laughed my butt off. As a perfect Sam capper, when I was leaving San Diego, she said, “Wow—that was so nice. You were here for three days, and you didn’t even bug me.” During that time, when I was on a fellowship and not “working” on anything but my dissertation, we emailed sometimes six or seven times a day, pouring out our hearts and minds, and, me, all the while, cracking up.

Then, blessedly, Sam met David, and the whole earth began to shift. After spending years of time and gobs of energy on people who weren’t worthy to touch the heel of her boot (how maddening it was that there were those fools who couldn’t appreciate fully the wonder that is Sam), Sam met this amazing man, and she was so happy. It was as she was finally getting her come-uppance. For all the joy she had given out, she was getting some back. Rarely have I been so delighted at someone else’s happiness.

It was at this time, and not because David compelled her (but, as I imagine it, because she was finally enveloped in love in many of her significant relationships) that Sam began to change her life. This extraordinary woman, who I had loved from the first day I’d met her, began to make these gorgeous emotional and physical transformations. What courage it takes, in a world where body is such a focal point of attention and the source of so much judgment, to change the body. Yet Sam did. She began to treat herself with the kind of love that she had reserved for her most beloved friends. Perhaps it takes even greater courage to love yourself enough to grow emotionally where there is often little incentive to take the time and energy to do so and so much disincentive not to. This manifested itself in a million ways, including Sam’s completion of her hard-won dissertation.

You can imagine, after this ode, how I felt when Sam and David decided to become parents. “How lucky that kid will be,” I thought. Again, Sam showed her courage. Even though they had to go through hell and high water to make it happen, they did it. Even though it meant a period of time with shots every night for Sam—in so many ways, metaphoric and literal, they did it. Even though it meant poking and prodding and tests and, then, in the wake of the brilliant adoption decision, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork, they did it. And Sam, in spite of the difficulties of it all, in spite of the pain of the process, was ever graceful. (A shout out to you too, David—you are both remarkable.) I knew the agony of the process wouldn’t beat her down. She made it happen, and, while she chronicled the pain, she also saw the moments of delight.

And now she is “Mom of the Year” and Jarrah is the luckiest girl in the world. Not because Sam doesn’t have a complex relationship to parenting. Not because she never feels exhausted or unhappy. Sam is amazing because she is able, with that same remarkable wisdom and humor, to make an impact on the world around her (far, far around her) with her writing. Thank goodness Sam finds time for the blog, as well as for her family. And thank goodness she answered my call on that street corner in Laramie. I didn’t even know what I was asking for at that time, but I’m so glad that I got it. Sam, thank you for all that you’ve done to bring joy to the world. May you be abundantly blessed with a three-fold return of the love and joy you’ve given. Here’s to forty more years, twice over. I’d be grateful for every, single one

Love you, Sam.

Happy Birthday.
Marlene

Birthday greetings

Wishing you a very happy birthday Sam. Would love to be with you to help you celebrate.

40 might seem a grand old age to you, but to us it already seems a long time ago in our youth.

And anyway, isn't 40 the new 30?

With love from Joan and John

Birthday greetings too from your brother-in-law, Ben, for whom 40 is the new 25.

John and Joan Newman

Happy Birthday, Samantha!!! Love, love, love, Teresa

My History with Sam

I don't keep a journal like I know Sam does (via blogging these days), but I remember how I met Sam and how our relationship developed. Some of what I remember is included below in celebration of Samantha's 40th & as a reminder to her about how much I love her & how happy I am she is in my life.

Laramie 1995
I first met Sam at the University of Wyoming Conference on English in June of 1995 when she answered Marlene's question "Who needs a ride?" with a "Us!!" and came and jumped into the car. During the conference after that moment we were hardly ever separated. Few images remain, but here's one that captures the Sam of 1995 (I think she copped the beer can from somebody else for that authentic look).

The days of the conference were filled with jokes & drinking & somewhere in there we all did our papers for the conference, too. The conference culminated with an open-bar reception, which our group followed up with a trip to The Cowboy, a bar in Laramie that needs no explanation; I think the name says it all. We were all still in our suits & gewgaws from the conference but managed to get so drunk that we could hardly move the next day. Sam was maybe the only wise one who didn't get toe-down drunk that night (if I remember correctly).

San Diego 1998
I next saw Sam--and Marlene!!--in San Francisco right at the end of 1998. Marlene had a room for MLA in one of the conference hotels because her university was hiring and she was on the hiring committee. The room was a suite because it was the place where the committee held its interviews. Sam and I would roll out of bed whenever we were ready to, while Marlene would be up early conducting interviews in the other room. I don't know how many of Mar's colleagues Sam & I met while we were still in our pajamas, hair in full bed-head mode. In fact, Sam remarked that we were like Mar's kept women: Mar was next door doing all the work & we were lounging about in our sleepwear in the posh room, being waited on.

Sam & I also got to tour the city, one I had never visited before. We walked a lot, down to the wharf & to the Castro. We got to talk a lot, too. Sam & David had been dating a little while at this time & I was in the midst of a relationship, so there was much to discuss. Here's a picture of Sam being Sam:


[Ill-fated trip to Daytona Beach elided here 'cuz an ex-partner of mine who will remain nameless nearly ruined it. Also, I can't find my pictures. Memorable lines from this trip include "It's a Kimono Dragon!!" & "They're wild pigs!!"]

San Diego Summer 1999
My first visit to San Diego was, of course, courtesy of Samantha. This was after she and David had been dating and had just moved in together. Marlene and my ex also made the trip. Luckily my ex ditched us most of the time, & we three got to spend lots of time together. There was hiking, which included meeting "Steven Spielberg," Marlene telling me she could "polarize the fuck out of that cliff" when asked for some technical advice on photography, and the dance moves seen below.

We also went the beach (forgive me for not remembering the name, Sam, especially since you've taken me there twice) and played on trees that inspired Dr. Seuss.

Mar & Sam are truly two babes:

San Diego 2001: Sam and David's Wedding
Sam and David's wedding was the reason for my next trip to San Diego. Sam took the day off two days before the wedding for--yes!--more hiking and general hanging around with Marlene & me. We paused for pictures before heading out.

We also got a preview of the wedding dress.

On the day of the wedding Marlene & I headed out for lunch for ourselves and the bride. Luckily, there was good fast food nearby. I still keep this magnet on my refrigerator.

I'm glad we weren't gone long enough to miss Samantha getting her dress on & modeling it for the assembled crowd of female friends & family. I have many more pictures from right before the wedding but just couldn't scan them all for this blog.

The night of the wedding was, naturally, a blast. Sam & David danced the night away among people who were there for no other reason than to celebrate the happy couple's love and our love for them. I'm happy & proud to say I was there!

San Diego, Summer of 2002
Comicon!!! Yes! I finally got the chance to attend this event that Sam had kept me updated on through the years. I must've taken 20 pictures of Joss Whedon & still prize my Buffy the Vampire Slayer poster signed by the man himself.

The best part of the trip, though, was the time I got to spend with Sam--and David, too!! Every suggestion Sam made about things we could do was perfect, & I enjoyed each outing. We went to Tecate, Mexico, ate wonderful & wonderfully cheap Mexican cookies, toured the brewery, ate tacos in what was little more than a stand on the street, and tested out David's immigration status. This was the first time he had been able to leave the country since his arrival!

Then there was the lemon martini & karaoke night. Many more and more drunken pictures exist but I do want to continue to be Sam's friend. I did a few songs, myself. During my rendition of "Knockin' on Heaven's Door," Sam repeatedly asked me, "What are you doing?!?" Obviously she wasn't into my Axl Rose impersonation.

We traveled to the Hotel Del. We walked around the building & on the beach. I can't really remember all the things we saw and did there, except for the fact that we talked the whole time, about relationships & family. It seems every time we meet that we talk about the same issues but with different &, I hope, better perspective. I always learn something when I'm with Sam, something important about, well, life. And this was particularly important on this trip because I was at the start of a new & glorious relationship, so I talked Sam's ear off.

We tried to travel to Orange County, but a wreck on the interstate cut that trip short. We turned around at a closed rest area along with about 1000 other people.

We took a boat ride in the bay & I got to take lots & lots & lots pictures of the Cornonado bridge. Lots. But here's my favorite. I was gonna put a red sports car into the picture, on the bridge & a body falling over into the water. 'Cuz now that I'm a huge Veronica Mars fan, I love yelling out things like "I've been there!!" when I'm watching the show. And this is just about where Lynn Echols killed herself.

On the same day, we rode a merry-go-round on which Sam made the greatest faces ever. Here's just one example:

And Sam took me back to that beach that I can't remember the name of for another beautiful day.

Anniston, Alabama, March 2004
Sam came to visit me over Spring Break in 2004. I don't think Alabama surprised her, though she was particularly disappointed with downtown Anniston on a Friday night. Not much was going on. We did find a Dollar General store that was selling grave markers made from styrofoam, plastic, and fake flowers. I think Sam took pictures. Also, few of the mannequins in the store window had all their fingers, another Alabama highlight.

We did have fun hiking--Samantha even waded across a stream in her bare feet--and, in Birmingham, going to the Civil Rights Institute. After this, we ate at a place called Jim & Nick's 11th Avenue Grill, where Sam was heard to remark "This is the best meal I've ever had" about her brisket & fried apples.

Also, I am proud to say that Sam got her first experience raking leaves in my yard. Again, I think Sam has pictures. I regret to this day, however, that I didn't take Sam to see one of Anniston's claims to fame, the world's largest office chair. No, seriously, this is a claim to fame, along with being named "Toxic Town" most recently by 60 Minutes in 2002.

Summer 2006
This summer we were supposed to get together again. A proposed Memorial Day trip, that would've also included my partner, Marlene, & Jacob fell through. And then a trip to Cancun just turned out not to be quite the right venue for us all to get together. So much has happened with Samantha & David over the past few years that I desperately want to catch up face-to-face. Jarrah has entered their lives, and though I do read Sam's blog sometimes, it's still not the same. Maybe soon that get-together will happen?

Anyway, happy birthday, Sam! Know that I love you & wish I could be there for the big day.

Getting this site started.

As so many of Samantha's friends don't live in San Diego, I hope to include those living anywhere in the world to wish Samantha a happy 40th birthday through this blog. We have about 10 days before her actual birthday for her friends to post celebratory messages, old stories, and hopefully photos. I will be keep this blog out of the birthday girl's sight until the evening of the 28th. Think of this site as an electronic guest book for her birthday party.

Ways you can create messages.

1) I intend to add you as an author for this blog, allowing you to craft your own messages directly, with editing and layout as needed. If I haven't already included you as an author for this blog please email me.

2) You can email your messages and photos directly to me so that I may upload them. If you have printed photos I can also scan them.